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Prophecy Six Blog

Sharing My Unedited Writing Experiences & Life Experiences.

Today Marks One Year

Hello World Out There World!

About a month ago I wrote this around the anniversary of my mother’s – wait… she hated how I called her mother – mom’s death. I was hesitant to post it unsure how my readership would react, but since I want to be honest with all of you and show you the true me I think it best to share with you how it feels after one year after losing someone that formed my world and was a big part of who I am today. This is free writing, which means I did not edit I just let my train of thought take me wherever it wanted to go. I wanted this to be as pure as possible even though my emotions may have gotten the better of me at some parts. Forgive me for that…

So, without delay here is Today Marks One Year:

It feels like years some days and just yesterday on others. There is a piece of me that breaks whenever I see a mother and daughter laughing together. A part of me pings with jealousy when I listen to a conversation on how a daughter will have their mother for their wedding or for their first child. I feel angry when I overhear a daughter ignore or insult their mother because they will have the time to make up for it.

You always will think you will have time to make up for it. You will always think there will never be a time you won’t have her there to support you, to love you, to laugh with you. You will always have that time until you don’t.

Today marks one year.
One year since I lost my best friend, my biggest support, and my selfless protector.

I will forever remember the moment my heart was ripped out of my chest. That all those walls that had protected me for all those years crumbled leaving me to stand alone amongst the rubble to rebuild from the pieces left behind. It is not easy. It will never be easy to take the memories that had brought you so much joy that now make you collapse into a pile of sobbing tears. The memories that made you laugh and in some way still do while your eyes water when you realize that you won’t be making new memories with her.

Time will pass, the pain will fade but there will be moments where there will come overwhelming emotions you didn’t know you could feel.

They said I would hate her. They said I would be angry.
Maybe one day I will be.

Maybe one day when I’m standing at the alter saying ‘I do’, I will have that pinch of anger that she wasn’t there to help me get into my dress or give me advice that all mothers give to their daughters on their special day. Maybe one day when I have gone through hours of labor and I’m holding my little one in my arms, I will have a ping on anger that she isn’t there to help me like she promised she would be. But right now, right at this moment a year from the day she left me I can’t hate her.

I cannot be angry.

It wasn’t her that took her life but the demons that kept her awake at night. It wasn’t her that took her from me but the thoughts that she would never be herself again. She believed she was a terrible mother. She was convinced that her illness was destroying us. She believed ending it all because that was the only way she could be at peace. She is gone because of the lies that filled her head from the whispers of the monsters that we couldn’t see, from the demons the doctors didn’t believe were real, and from the fears she never expressed because of the way society views mental health.

Today marks one year since my mother died.

How easy it is to be so quickly defined by one actions. You could be a famous comedian, a musician, a government official, a mother… but what you only hear about is their death. My mother was creative – she could turned stockings and wire coat hangers into fairy wings without a template. She was selfless – always trying to find a way to better the world and the people in it either through volunteering or helping a single mother at the place where she worked. She loved nature – let it be hiking, swimming, or just spending the day out in the garden. She was a great mother – fighting against the school for my education, giving up all her free time to ensure I had a well-rounded/ event filled childhood with dancing, soccer, swimming, horseback riding, and summer camps. She read to me every night, taught me the importance of being myself and allowed me to explore the world always knowing if I needed her she would be there.

Today marks one year since my mother was a victim of mental illness but her illness won’t be what I will remember about her.

Where did my intro come from?

If you’ve been following me for a while you’ve probably noticed that recently at the start of all my posts I’ve been writing “Hello World Out There World!” Some of you may not care about this new intro, while others may be curious as to why I started using it.

Where did it come from? What is the point? Is there a reason?

Yes… to all of these questions.

About two years ago, before I started this blog, my mom and I were going through old VHS tapes during Christmas. These tapes were of my formative years between the ages of six months to three years. There were a lot of tapes due to the reason my parents moved to California after I was born for my dad’s work. Since all of our family was in Canada, my mom and dad would record my shenanigans for my grandparents to watch.

My mother was a stay-at-home mom at the time. She spent all day with me – a human who couldn’t speak – and so during one of the taping sessions my dad was recording my mother asking how her day was and to say hello. Tired from dealing with me all day my mom replied, “Hello World Out There World”, and hence my intro was born.

As a twenty-something watching childhood videos with her mother I found this hilarious and soon it became a thing to say around the house. Whenever I would say it to my mom we would laugh, and carry on with what we were doing.

Now, about a year ago, before I started this blog I lost my mother. She passed away and it hit me really hard, as I lost not only the person who gave me so much but also my best friend. Her death made me realize life was short and that I should take the chances I always wanted to take – that was mostly publishing a book. It was one thing I knew if I died I would have regretted not doing. So, I pushed myself to publish Child of the Light. I had no idea it was going to be so hard… I had no idea it was going to be so much work, but I don’t regret doing it.

Flash forward to now, I’m working on book 2, trying to build a brand and trying to figure out how I want to portray myself to all of you. I have always been my honest self on this. You’ve seen my ups and downs over the last year… but it is hard to share my silly self with all of you. So, that’s why I started to start my posts with ‘Hello World Out There World.”

When I was with my mom I was silly, weird, wacky… what-have-you… and that’s what I want to be with you. I want to share my experiences, I want to motivate you to do what you want to do, I want you to live without regrets and take the chances you may have been afraid to take. That’s what these posts are about… at least what I try to make this blog about…

Anywho… that is where my intro came from and why from now on most posts will start with that. Now, though, I must make dinner and curl up near the air conditioner in hopes of beating this heatwave that’s happening.

So, until next time – Toodles!

Writing Superpowers

Hello world out there world!

When it comes to writing we all have our specialties. Some of us are better at character development, others are great at world building. Just like the Justice League or the Avengers have a variety of superheroes that keep their teams together us writers have our communities to go to for support.

Recently I’ve been going to a writers group and it still amazes me how much talent is out there. There are people in my group that have never written a story but have so much know-how that they could teach a class. There are those – like myself – who have written and published works that share what we’ve learnt about the self-publishing/ traditional-publishing world. We all have something to share, something to learn, and something we are really good at.

I like to think my writing superpowers are character development and foreshadowing. I love creating relationships between characters and love writing pieces that you come to discover are way more important than I originally let on. I think that is due to what I love about reading. I don’t read for the world – one reason I don’t read fantasy books – but I read for the people. Mitch Albom is a great example of an author I will never stop loving. His superpower is to take normal life and make it amazing. He takes pieces like death, mortality, growing up, and purpose and turns it into this epic emotional roller-coaster.

I try my hardest to do that with my books. I know in the fantasy genre it is hard to make it feel real but I hope through my characters I can make the world relatable and the things that happen to them believable.

I think that’s why it is so important to have others read your stories before publishing or self-publishing. Other people have had different life experiences or may have a superpower to contribute to your work.

For example:

My editor loves fantasy and has read fantasy for as long as I’ve known him. I am also lucky enough to have grown up with him, so he knows me outside of writing and understands what I want out of my books. When he reads my books he has that background to help establish a more believable fantasy background in my work. He also has a better knowledge of writing rules – that I am slowly starting to grasp – which helps make my writing come across smoother or better written than if I published it without his review.

I have beta-readers who all have strengths in a variety of things. I have a beta-reader that is passionate about description and has amazing skill with showing rather than telling. This helps me immensely since I am a regular teller of stories and rarely show in my work. Their suggestions help me build a work full of visual details that may help the reader see the world than just read about it.

Lastly, I have another set of readers that help with portraying certain information or certain characters correctly. I do not have a background in medicine or herbal healing, so these people are there to make sure I am not writing bull and sending false facts to my readership. This goes with characters with certain backgrounds. I am an ally to the LGBTQ community but I don’t have too many negative experiences of being LGBTQ. My family and friends have been accepting of my choices, my partner is comfortable with my sexuality, I identify with the gender I was born with, and so when I am writing a character who is queer I don’t wish to misrepresent them. That’s why I’m thankful for having readers with a variety of backgrounds willing to help me shape my queer characters appropriately, insuring I don’t perpetuate negative stereotypes that we hear about in other media sources.

It is all right to not be perfect at everything.

Tony Stark isn’t perfect, neither is Batman… and their short comings are easily made up for with other members of their team. So when it comes to your writing your books, short stories, poetry, what-have-you – it is all right to lean on others in your community. It is all right to ask for help when you need it because at the end of the day you have a writing superpower that those people may need you to use for their work one day.

Old Word Friday: Fallaciloquence & Gardeviance

Hello world out there world!

Welcome back to Old World Friday! This week I have two words to share with you… and both happen to be quite the mouthful.

So, let’s get started.

This first word we are going to work with is fallaciloquence.

Pronounced: fall-a-cil-o-quence

You probably can figure out why that word has disappeared as it isn’t the easiest one to pronounce or the easiest one to fit into sentences but HEY! We can try, right?

Fallaciloquence is a noun that was believed to have been created around 1656 and was used commonly up to around 1761. The word means deceitful or false speech – which is short to write or say that than to put fallaciloquence… but that’s besirdes the point.

It is one of those fancy words that may help you sound smarter… or possibly make a character you wish to be smart sound snobbish or disconnected to common word uses.

Two sentences I came up with to use this word are:

Despite his popularity the presidential candidate was known for his fallaciloquence.

Or…

No one should trust a person with fallociloquence.

The second word I will be sharing with you today isn’t are hard to use in a sentence as fallaciloquence. This word is also a noun thought of have been created around 1459 and lessened in popularity around 1706. The word is gardeviance.

Pronounced: gar – deviance

What is a gardeviance? It is a fancier name for a chest you keep valuables in or clothing in. It is also another word for travelling trunk.

Some suggestions on where to use this word in your writing would be in a fantasy story with a foot in medieval history. Or a historical fiction of some sort based in the time when that word was more commonly used. If you have a time travelling character or an immortal character they could use that word as well.

Two examples of using this word in a sentence are:

Mother kept all my baby clothes in the oak gardeviance in our living room.

Or…

I love going to antique stores and seeing the large assortment of gardeviances.

Out of these two words I would find myself using gardeviance more than fallaciloquence as most of what I write is YA fantasy with medieval details. That doesn’t mean I won’t use both words eventually, I just find that gardeviance is an easier word to use than the mouthful that was the first word we covered.

Do I hope for these words to make a comeback?

No, unlike other words I’ve approached in the past these words would not suit modern day conversation unless you wish to set a bad precedence with being known as a snob. The words would work in conversation with other word lovers but not with strangers at a bus stop.

And until next time – toodles!!

Thanks Phone

Hello world out there world!

I know it’s been a while since I posted. I wish I had a good excuse but the truth is Canada finally got Pokémon Go and everyone over night has become obsessed – I know I have at least, which either is a good thing or a bad thing. Good in the sense I have walked more than I have ever walked in my measly life to hatch virtual eggs to get more virtual creatures to become the best darn virtual trainer in the world! (If I can find something other than freaking Pidgeys and Rattatas!)

Oh, I’ve also been volunteering this week for Pride, which has also taken my time up! Hence not having an Old Word Friday last week… sorry for those looking forward to that. I will post two words this Friday to make up for it.:)

Anyways… the point of this post was to bring up something that made me laugh the other day.

I happened across a post while looking through Pinterest – my other procrastination site of doom. Sometimes I find pictures I keep to myself for my own enjoyment but there are others that I know most of you can relate to. This happens to be one of those posts:

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If you were to go back in time to my high school days and open my bag you’d find a laptop, notebook, notepad, pens, pencils, YA books, and scrap paper. I loved writing so much that I made sure I always had something available for me to write on. I wrote so much that teachers took away my notebooks during class so I would do my work and strangers in the hallways didn’t know me by name but by the nickname ‘Writer’s Craft’, which followed me into university, (that story for another time). The point was I never left home without something to write in.

Thankfully as time continued on and technology got better so did my bag.

By last year of university I had a much smaller purse that carried only my wallet, phone, and charger. I had no notebook, laptop, or notepad in my bag. I didn’t need to carry around books. Everything had magically become an app on my phone.

Need to write an idea down? Notepad App.

Need to write a page of a story down? Notepad App.

Want to read a book? Kindle App.

Saw something inspiring? Camera App.

Want to share my boring life with the world? WordPress App.

You get the idea…

Everything I once carried around, denting my shoulders in the process, is now taking up space on my phone along with my virtual pet collection. I’m still a writer but at least my back isn’t breaking when I leave the house anymore.:)

 

Writers I know you can relate

Hello world out there world!

Pinterest and I have a love hate relationship. I love it because it helps me find fun ideas, or prompts, or resources which I can explore/ learn more when it comes to the world of becoming a professional author. I hate it because when I should be working on my stories, editing, or researching certain aspects/ themes I instead look up DIY projects and funny Supernatural quotes.

Pinterest is both a great resource and the worst procrastination tool in my life.

Sometimes though I find something that relates so well to my life that I just have to share it with all of you. I know I’m not alone. There have been many followers that have mentioned this pain we call procrastination. This bane on our creative existence can come in many forms but whatever it is we all know that when it hits we are not going to get anything, I REPEAT ANYTHING, done.

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So, since you have read this and now know you are not alone, I hope this post was able to make you laugh or at least smile.:)

And until next time, toodles!

The Way To A Geek Girl’s Heart

At 11:30 am this morning – I like sleeping in – Mr. Canuck came into the room with his phone in hand and a smile on his face. He asked if I wanted to go for a walk after breakfast around our area. I was surprised by this as we normally just spend our weekends on separate computers – his upstairs and mine downstairs – communicating over Facebook chat or text message like we always have done.

(This may not be you’re idea of a perfect relationship but Canuck and I like our personal space, so how we do things in our house is perfect for us).

Anyways, I get up and get ready. Wash face, get into outdoor clothes, and sunscreen myself since the UV index is getting worse – thanks global warming – and I head downstairs where I find Canuck sitting on the couch on his phone. Beside him he has my phone and he hands it to me.

My little geek girl heart went a flutter when I saw the sign up page for Pokémon Go on my phone screen. I looked up at him and he had this big grin on his face where he then said, “There is a Poké Stop near our place if you want to start there.”

In other words, my introverted and not so outdoor enthusiastic partner is offering to go exploring with me on a Poké-Date.

Of course I said yes!

We started our adventure at 1 pm and discovered a couple of nice neighborhoods in our area. We caught a lot of flying and insect Pokémon as well as went to plenty of Poké Stops. We paused in the middle of our adventure at a Tim Horton’s where we refueled and cooled down. We evolved a Pidgey or two before heading out again to a hiking path which we never took before.

Our little Poké-adventure lasted 2 hours, bring us home tired, hungry, and sweaty at 3:15 pm. I crashed on the couch, Canuck went onto his computer, and now we are making dinner.

So, guys take note. If your girlfriend or partner is into Pokémon take them exploring. This is a great activity to do together and it also makes you look like less of a weirdo when you’re with someone else. Not saying you won’t look weird when you jump up and down after catching a favourite Pokémon… but you’ll likely get more comments like “Awe what a cute geek couple!”

It is also easy to point other Pokémon Go players out since you see them walking towards places you’ve already explored while their faces are buried in their phones. Traveling around with someone helps pass the time it takes to find what you need, and things may load faster on one device than another so you won’t be missing out on potential finds – or in our case one phone has a better battery life than the other.

These are just suggestions of course… no need to follow them. I’m just saying that this was the perfect Poké-Date for a nice Sunday afternoon.:)

Child of the Light FREE on Smashword!!

Book one of the Prophecy Six series in Free on Smashwords!

Child of the Light

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The world of Gaitan is used to conflict.

War has been common place between the northern and southern countries for centuries, but it isn’t their hatred which led to the city of Morza’s demise.

The Chaos Singers would say the Gods came down and cleansed the land in a brilliant light to prepare for the ending of the Era.

The common folk would say it was an explosion from the evening’s festivities gone wrong.
The truth is no one knows what happened that night.

Except one.

Upon investigating the remains of the city, in hopes of finding
information that could lead to a cure to the Northern prince’s mysterious sickness, Caldor Lefwid – an old sage – sights what appears to be fresh footprints heading towards the forest.

This discovery brings hope to an otherwise hopeless situation, and Caldor decides to take a chance.

With help from his trusted friend – Foe – Caldor begins the journey to find the last survivor of Morza and the cure the North is praying for.

Child of the Light is a fiction, fantasy, self-discovery story focused towards young adults (ages 14+). It’s the first book of the Prophecy 6 series, and covers a variety of issues facing young adults and the world today such as displacement due to conflict, and othering.

If you want a quick and easy read, this is the book for you.

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CHECK IT OUT NOW!!

Old Word Friday: ECSTASIATE

Hello world out there world!

I’m going to try something new today. I am going to show you the video I made for this weeks OWF. I’m hoping to turn this into a regular thing, but we shall see. So, check it out and please leave comments below letting me know what you’d like me to do videos on.:)

 

 

 

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