Discuss Your First Love

My first love wasn’t a person. My first love wasn’t an animal. My first love was an activity.

I fell in love with ballet.

Yes, I was a ballet dance for six years and I loved it. Dancing was telling a story without words. You have to express yourself through movement, and facial expressions. You had to paint a story through the music and give the audience the story through your actions.

I was young like six years old when I started dancing, but I soon realized that I loved it when we did our first performance. We danced up on the stage doing – at the time – an attempt of what the older girls were doing but we were having fun.

As the years went on, I was able to perform in the larger sirminimusproductions. I played Sir Minimus from the Labyrinth (the one with David Bowie) and Mr. Beaver from The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. I became characters from stories, wore costumes and face paint. I danced around as people I wasn’t – probably one reason I became so interested in cosplay… now that I think about it.

I stopped dancing at age 12 not because I wanted to stop, but because of the people running the school made it difficult to enjoy. I had dealt with social pressures – be tiny, be delicate, don’t be harsh, don’t dance like a boy… the worst of it was when they were trying to get me into doing the dancing exams.

The whole reason I went into dancing was to have fun. I didn’t want to do exams. I didn’t want to become a teacher. I didn’t want to go to the Royal Academy of Dancing… but if I wanted to take certain classes that use to be open to me… if I wanted to continue to perform in the big production they forced those who were there to have fun into these exams. Exams by the way aren’t fun. It is you standing before four snobby looking people who judge you on your dancing. They criticise your posture, your arm movement, your foot position. They tear your to pieces… they tear a twelve year old girl to pieces over not being perfect.

So, yeah… after my first exam I realized if I wanted to dance I would be able to dance where I was going. Unfortunately the other dance schools were taking on this professional dancers only mentality… and so… I never danced again.

Maybe I’ll go back to the stage when I’m older, but at the moment I’m happy just doing my reviews in my living room. 🙂