Click the picture to find out what those three reasons are. 🙂
What Is Kicking Your Butt Right Now?
My brain is overwhelming at the moment. It fills my heads with thoughts that keep me up at night. Gives me ideas when I’m working on something else. Distracts me from the work I want to do. Reminds me to do work after I decide it’s time to take a break.
My brain is being a real jerk.
I try to shut it up with watching movies. Stepping away from my projects for a little bit, thinking maybe that’s why my brain is being overwhelmed. I get some piece for a short amount of time… but then it goes back to guilting me that I’m not being productive. I try to eat – you need to work. I try to sleep – you need to work. I go for a walk – you need to work. I’m on vacation – you need to work.
Suffice to say… I’m not impressed with how my brain is handling life right now. -.-‘
Something You Want To Improve In Your Life
I’ve always had issues with self-confidence, which may be a reason why I love writing so much. It helps me escape from the real world, allowing me to write my real self in fiction. A lot of my characters aren’t afraid to speak their mind or be confident in their choices –
the opposite of me. Whenever I make a choice I start panicking right away that I did the wrong thing. Whenever I say something I start panicking about if I upset them.
Life – I believe – would be so much easier if I just stopped caring about what others thought about me. If I just woke up one day and said, “Today, I’m going to be a honey badger.”
Inside I’m confident. The voice you’re hearing on this blog is confident… but in real like on the daily I’m not. I’m quiet. I’m forgotten about. I don’t speak my mind. When I do speak I sputter or stutter out my words. I’m like Sadness from Pixar’s Inside Out at the start of the movie… when I honestly feel like Joy on the inside.
So yeah… confidence is something I need to improve on in my life. I think I’ll be happier for it.
Word Image Search
Today’s challenge is: think of a word and search for it using Google Images. Writing something inspired by the 11th Image.
The word I chose was tranquillity. The 11th image was:
I stood at the end of the board walk. The warm night air off the water stuck to my skin. I pulled my housecoat closer as the fluffy lime material tickled my skin. The smell of salt danced up my nose making me close my eyes and take a slower, deeper breath. The sound of waves lapped around me, slapping up onto my feet covered in white sand.
I open my eyes to see glass reflecting cotton of blues, pinks, and greys. The sky like candy pastels as I run my hand through my hair knocking away the fading electric blue strands.
I’m glad I came out here. I needed a break.
There came a knock from behind me. I turned around, feeling my frustration return. Someone was at my door and I had a good idea as to who it was.
Snapping my fingers the imaged faded, leaving me standing in the middle of the dark room. Photographs plastered the back wall caught the light through the crack in the drawn blinds when a car drove through the alleyway below. I could hear the neighbours shouting across the way as there came another knock on my front door.
The knocking this time was louder.
Secretly I had hoped he had left after thinking I wasn’t in.
“Jay!” it was Royce, as I had expected. “Jaya, open the fracking door – we need to talk!”
I smirked after hearing him use the word I commonly used to replace the oh so boring swears of this century. Maybe there was hope for Officer Bass after all.
Closing the door to my room and making sure the lock was latched, I made my way down the hallway covered in tacky floral print to the living room. I stood facing the entrance and with a snap of my fingers the front latch unlocked. He knocked again, obviously not noticing what I had done.
“It’s open – you Neanderthal,” I called, crossing my arms under my chest as he opened the door.
“It was locked – I checked,” Royce growled, closing the door. A thick manila folder was tucked under his right pit.
“Hope you check crime scenes better,” I smirked, noticing a hazel glare over his sunglasses, a habit I hadn’t yet been able to make him curb. “So, what brings yah to my lair this late?”
He took off his shoes, welcoming himself in like he had half a dozen times, collapsing in his usual spot in the corner of my lumpy black futon. Patches jumped up onto the back, settling near Royce as he gave her a hesitant pat. After they were both settled he set down the folder on my coffee table still covered with takeout containers.
“We found another body,” Royce muttered, moving to lean his elbows onto his knees after firmly planting his feet on the floor. He was hunched over in deep thought as I caught him give me a glance. “I know you’re off… since…”
He paused, taking off his sunglasses to set them atop the folder. He took a deep breath, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Patches was rubbing up against his back now for attention that he wasn’t going to give. I knew he blamed himself for what had happened but it wasn’t his fault. I wish I could have told him I was fine. I wanted to tell him that that Jinn couldn’t have killed me with an injury like that… but I couldn’t. He couldn’t know what I was. I couldn’t tell him or I’d be sent back to the bottle for who knows how long.
“Hey, Bass…” my voice was low but it reached his ears when he turned to give me a smirk at hearing his nickname, “you’re my partner – tell me what you need me to do.”
Ha…. well that was unexpected… didn’t think Jaya would make a comeback. If you don’t remember Jaya – she was a free genie I wrote about a while back [Her First Appearance Is Here]. Maybe my mind is telling me something… XD
The Lesson You Learnt The Hard Way
Now, I’ve written about how hard it is to be a writer before in the past blog post Writing Is Hard… but today I am supposed to talk about a lesson that I learned the hard way.
Writing isn’t actually the hardest part of being a writer. Writing is a challenge. Writing makes you pull out your hair and scream to the sky asking for help from your ancestors to give you strength to continue on… but then you go back to writing because we’re all masochists and love causing ourselves pain…
Writing makes us over think, over analyze and lose sleep over the tiniest of pointless details but that is writing. Writing is hard.
I knew that from years of writing. I learnt that through writing and editing my book but that pain… that suffering doesn’t compare to publishing.
With writing you have control over your project. You know the outcome of the story. You understand your characters, setting, plot…
What you can’t predict is what will happen when you are finished with your work. You think – at least this was what my previous naive self thought – I publish my work online and that’s that. It will take care of itself. People will see my work, love it or hate it and
HA! What a fool I was!
Publishing feels amazing at first because your story is done. What you don’t consider is the work that comes after your book is done. It doesn’t matter if you’re with a publisher or your work is self-published, there’s still a lot of work to be done.
You now have to build your brand, you readership, manage your sales, find places to sell your work, find ways to sell your work… get/register your ISBNs with your country and send your work to your country’s Legal Library (self-publishing legal stuff for a Canadian at least).
Instead of reading about sentence structure and character development you’ve replaced that with Marketing 101 and Guru Publishing Posts. You need to learn to talk to people and talk about your book… which is a nightmare for a introvert. But come hell or high water you do what you can to get your book out there. Not because you want to but because you owe your work the right to be read. You owe your potential readers the right to find your work.
AND when a reader tells you that they love the story or they can’t wait for the next book, you realize it’s all worth it. That those nights staring at the ceiling trying to figure out who you need to email, call, ‘run into’ the next morning was all worth it. That those hours you spent reading blogs on marketing and searching for sites to sell your work wasn’t a waste of time. One by one you’ll grow your readers and the more you write/publish – you hope it’ll get easier. 🙂
That’s the hard lesson I recently learnt… but after all this hard work I’m still wanting to be a writer. As much as it keeps me up at night and forces me to learn about something I was never quite good at (marketing) I still can’t see myself doing anything else. So, if that’s not a sign I’m doing what I love… I don’t know what is. 🙂