So… I catch a lot of people off-guard when I’m talking because my mind likes to do this thing where one second I’m engaged in the discussion and the next second I’m plotting out the end of a chapter. This happens more often than I would like…

For example:

I was in the middle of shopping whatifcharactertorturewhen I walked down the spice aisle. This was around the
same time I was researching different plants that could be slipped into someone’s food to do damage – poison someone basically. So, as I was looking over the spices I didn’t notice someone move to stand beside me. The poor woman was looking for nutmeg – which on a side note is a nightmare to try and find. As I reach for the bag of sage I must have muttered to myself – probably something along the lines of ‘how big of a dosage would I need to kill someone’. The woman was shocked from whatever it was I said and hurried away obvious that she heard me but pretending that she didn’t.

That time I didn’t mean for someone to hear… but I do have to admit there were moments when I was in university that I used my book research to get people to leave me alone. My favourite place to use this was in the campus coffee shop.

WARNING: using this tactic to get people to leave you alone may result in them thinking you are crazy… then again you’re a writer so they aren’t that far from the truth… 

imawriterI decided to sit in the corner booth in the empty back area, away from the loudness of the other groups. I wanted time to work alone but enough noise to keep my ears from buzzing from silence.

As I was working away on one of my very old drafts, a rowdy group – of what I assume was outdoor recreation students – sat in the booth beside mine. They were obnoxiously loud, clearly not hiding in the back area for the quieter atmosphere. So, when I heard their conversation slowly die down enough for someone to hear me, I chose to make my voice louder than usual and say, “Eviscerating him may be too much… I’ll have them play Russian roulette with his extremities instead.”

The best part about this was I had opened several tabs to medieval torture devices and interrogation techniques. The group left several moments later to go to the other room and my place in the back area returned to its mild silence. That’s why as much as this kind of thing is inconvenient at times if used correctly it can be a great tool to get people to leave you alone. 🙂