Search

Prophecy Six Blog

Sharing My Unedited Writing Experiences & Life Experiences.

Tag

love

Wishing You All A…

merrychristmaspicture.jpg

I want to thank you all of you for the love and support I’ve gotten from all of you over the year. You help motivate me and many of you have helped with reviewing, beta reading, and editing my books. Without you the Prophecy Six Series wouldn’t have gotten to a second book and without all of you this blog wouldn’t have made it past a year.

I want to wish all of you happiness and health in the New Years, and love and joy this holiday season.

Until next time stay safe, be creative, and as always toodles! 🙂

Giving Thanks

Today in Canada we are celebrating Thanksgiving. I had the chance to visit my father this year since I’m not 18 hours away in the North, and it was nice to be able to celebrate the day with family.

Usually, when Thanksgiving would come around I would hold a potluck at my house for my friends to come and celebrate with us. Most of my friends had family back in Southern Ontario and so it was nice to celebrate with people that we knew, talking about school and life, or just acted like crazy people like we usually did.

This year was different. I drove 1 hour to get to my dad’s place and celebrated with turkey around a table with family. It wasn’t the wild get togethers I was used to but it was nice to celebrate something after having such a tough/ busy couple of years. We gave thanks to our health, those that we love, and the support that we got from friends/ family through some of the toughest moments of our life. We laughed and told stories about when I was a kid or past Thanksgivings – like when my dad bought a turkey loaf instead of a turkey one year and we were surprised how good it tasted.

I just wanted to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving to all you and your family. Be thankful for the love you have and the people that grace your life everyday with happiness. Remember stay safe, be creative, and until next time – toodles! ❤

Today Marks One Year

Hello World Out There World!

About a month ago I wrote this around the anniversary of my mother’s – wait… she hated how I called her mother – mom’s death. I was hesitant to post it unsure how my readership would react, but since I want to be honest with all of you and show you the true me I think it best to share with you how it feels after one year after losing someone that formed my world and was a big part of who I am today. This is free writing, which means I did not edit I just let my train of thought take me wherever it wanted to go. I wanted this to be as pure as possible even though my emotions may have gotten the better of me at some parts. Forgive me for that…

So, without delay here is Today Marks One Year:

It feels like years some days and just yesterday on others. There is a piece of me that breaks whenever I see a mother and daughter laughing together. A part of me pings with jealousy when I listen to a conversation on how a daughter will have their mother for their wedding or for their first child. I feel angry when I overhear a daughter ignore or insult their mother because they will have the time to make up for it.

You always will think you will have time to make up for it. You will always think there will never be a time you won’t have her there to support you, to love you, to laugh with you. You will always have that time until you don’t.

Today marks one year.
One year since I lost my best friend, my biggest support, and my selfless protector.

I will forever remember the moment my heart was ripped out of my chest. That all those walls that had protected me for all those years crumbled leaving me to stand alone amongst the rubble to rebuild from the pieces left behind. It is not easy. It will never be easy to take the memories that had brought you so much joy that now make you collapse into a pile of sobbing tears. The memories that made you laugh and in some way still do while your eyes water when you realize that you won’t be making new memories with her.

Time will pass, the pain will fade but there will be moments where there will come overwhelming emotions you didn’t know you could feel.

They said I would hate her. They said I would be angry.
Maybe one day I will be.

Maybe one day when I’m standing at the alter saying ‘I do’, I will have that pinch of anger that she wasn’t there to help me get into my dress or give me advice that all mothers give to their daughters on their special day. Maybe one day when I have gone through hours of labor and I’m holding my little one in my arms, I will have a ping on anger that she isn’t there to help me like she promised she would be. But right now, right at this moment a year from the day she left me I can’t hate her.

I cannot be angry.

It wasn’t her that took her life but the demons that kept her awake at night. It wasn’t her that took her from me but the thoughts that she would never be herself again. She believed she was a terrible mother. She was convinced that her illness was destroying us. She believed ending it all because that was the only way she could be at peace. She is gone because of the lies that filled her head from the whispers of the monsters that we couldn’t see, from the demons the doctors didn’t believe were real, and from the fears she never expressed because of the way society views mental health.

Today marks one year since my mother died.

How easy it is to be so quickly defined by one actions. You could be a famous comedian, a musician, a government official, a mother… but what you only hear about is their death. My mother was creative – she could turned stockings and wire coat hangers into fairy wings without a template. She was selfless – always trying to find a way to better the world and the people in it either through volunteering or helping a single mother at the place where she worked. She loved nature – let it be hiking, swimming, or just spending the day out in the garden. She was a great mother – fighting against the school for my education, giving up all her free time to ensure I had a well-rounded/ event filled childhood with dancing, soccer, swimming, horseback riding, and summer camps. She read to me every night, taught me the importance of being myself and allowed me to explore the world always knowing if I needed her she would be there.

Today marks one year since my mother was a victim of mental illness but her illness won’t be what I will remember about her.

Happy Valentine’s Day

hearts.jpg

Now… I’m not one to celebrate these kind of holidays but for all of you that do I’ll make an exception and will wish you all a wonderful Valentine’s Day.

To those without that special someone, you are still loved and it isn’t the end of the world if you do not have a hot tamale there to share the day with. Hug your pets, call a friend, or family member. Valentine’s Day is a day to show your love to everyone you care about – not just the one you are in a relationship with.

So, with all that being said – you have all been a great support to me throughout this year. I may not know you in person but I know you through interacting with you on this blog. I want to tell you that all of you are amazing and wish you all an awesome-tastic Valentine’s Day.

Love and Hugs,

Deanna 🙂

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 24 – Hard Lesson

 

24

The Lesson You Learnt The Hard Way

Now, I’ve written about how hard it is to be a writer before in the past blog post Writing Is Hard… but today I am supposed to talk about a lesson that I learned the hard way.

Writing isn’t actually the hardest part of being a writer. Writing is a challenge. Writing makes you pull out your hair and scream to the sky asking for help from your ancestors to give you strength to continue on… but then you go back to writing because we’re all masochists and love causing ourselves pain…

Writing makes us over think, over analyze and lose sleep over the tiniest of pointless details but that is writing. Writing is hard.

I knew that from years of writing. I learnt that through writing and editing my book but that pain… that suffering doesn’t compare to publishing.

With writing you have control over your project. You know the outcome of the story. You understand your characters, setting, plot…

What you can’t predict is what will happen when you are finished with your work. You think – at least this was what my previous naive self thought – I publish my work online and that’s that. It will take care of itself. People will see my work, love it or hate it and
move on.

summerchild.jpgHA! What a fool I was!

Publishing feels amazing at first because your story is done. What you don’t consider is the work that comes after your book is done. It doesn’t matter if you’re with a publisher or your work is self-published, there’s still a lot of work to be done.

You now have to build your brand, you readership, manage your sales, find places to sell your work, find ways to sell your work… get/register your ISBNs with your country and send your work to your country’s Legal Library (self-publishing legal stuff for a Canadian at least).

Instead of reading about sentence structure and character development you’ve replaced that with Marketing 101 and Guru Publishing Posts. You need to learn to talk to people and talk about your book… which is a nightmare for a introvert. But come hell or high water you do what you can to get your book out there. Not because you want to but because you owe your work the right to be read. You owe your potential readers the right to find your work.

AND when a reader tells you that they love the story or they can’t wait for the next book, you realize it’s all worth it. That those nights staring at the ceiling trying to figure out who you need to email, call, ‘run into’ the next morning was all worth it. That those hours you spent reading blogs on marketing and searching for sites to sell your work wasn’t a waste of time. One by one you’ll grow your readers and the more you write/publish – you hope it’ll get easier. 🙂

That’s the hard lesson I recently learnt… but after all this hard work I’m still wanting to be a writer. As much as it keeps me up at night and forces me to learn about something I was never quite good at (marketing) I still can’t see myself doing anything else. So, if that’s not a sign I’m doing what I love… I don’t know what is. 🙂

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 19 – First Love

19

Discuss Your First Love

My first love wasn’t a person. My first love wasn’t an animal. My first love was an activity.

I fell in love with ballet.

Yes, I was a ballet dance for six years and I loved it. Dancing was telling a story without words. You have to express yourself through movement, and facial expressions. You had to paint a story through the music and give the audience the story through your actions.

I was young like six years old when I started dancing, but I soon realized that I loved it when we did our first performance. We danced up on the stage doing – at the time – an attempt of what the older girls were doing but we were having fun.

As the years went on, I was able to perform in the larger sirminimusproductions. I played Sir Minimus from the Labyrinth (the one with David Bowie) and Mr. Beaver from The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. I became characters from stories, wore costumes and face paint. I danced around as people I wasn’t – probably one reason I became so interested in cosplay… now that I think about it.

I stopped dancing at age 12 not because I wanted to stop, but because of the people running the school made it difficult to enjoy. I had dealt with social pressures – be tiny, be delicate, don’t be harsh, don’t dance like a boy… the worst of it was when they were trying to get me into doing the dancing exams.

The whole reason I went into dancing was to have fun. I didn’t want to do exams. I didn’t want to become a teacher. I didn’t want to go to the Royal Academy of Dancing… but if I wanted to take certain classes that use to be open to me… if I wanted to continue to perform in the big production they forced those who were there to have fun into these exams. Exams by the way aren’t fun. It is you standing before four snobby looking people who judge you on your dancing. They criticise your posture, your arm movement, your foot position. They tear your to pieces… they tear a twelve year old girl to pieces over not being perfect.

So, yeah… after my first exam I realized if I wanted to dance I would be able to dance where I was going. Unfortunately the other dance schools were taking on this professional dancers only mentality… and so… I never danced again.

Maybe I’ll go back to the stage when I’m older, but at the moment I’m happy just doing my reviews in my living room. 🙂

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 6

List Five Ways to Win Your Heart

Sorry gentlemen, I’m taken but since I’m doing a 30 day challenge and this is the topic of the day I’ll write about the things that my man does to keep my heart. 🙂

|Food|

I love food. I love trying new foods. I love eating home cooked meals. So, when Mr. Canuck offers to take me for sushi, Montana’s, Applebees, or any other place that’s soul purpose is to provide my mouth with yummy goodness he’s making me happy.

Get me food or make me food and he’s automatically in my good books. 😛

|Dish Pan Hands|

As much as I love food, I don’t like cleaning up after making it. To say I hate doing dishes would be an understatement, and at the moment we don’t have a dishwasher… so… our sink is usually a nightmare. That is until Mr. Canuck comes to the rescue and washes the dishes.

Sure, I do them sometimes but because he knows I hate doing them he does them.

|Show How Much He Cares in Public|

Now I’m not talking about making-out in the middle of the mall, or on the street. I’m simply talking about holding my hand, giving me a kiss on the cheek, or wrapping his arm around my shoulder. He even says that he loves me or compliments me. Showing that he loves me in a public places shows he isn’t afraid of showing that we are together.

Mind you he doesn’t shout that we’re together on the top of his lungs which I’m thankful for. The less subtle he is, the more happy he makes me.

|Making Plans|

I’m the planner in the relationship. If there is a vacation or a trip we have to make I’m the one that books the hotels and sets out a schedule to do things.

What really makes me happy is when he takes over some of the planning. It doesn’t have to be big. He can plan a meal or a stopping point in the trip and that generally makes me happy. But, there are the rare occasions that he takes half of the trip and plans it without telling me.

That there is why I love my man. (o^.^o)

|Priorities|

Nothing gets my heart than a guy that has his priorities in check. Mr. Canuck and I have been together for three years. We aren’t married, and that’s okay because eventually we plan on tying the knot. At the moment we don’t want to put our money into something like a wedding when there are other things we want first.

Our own house. Better jobs. Pets. Move closer to family. Those are all things we have prioritized before getting married and the fact that Mr. Canuck has the same/ similar priorities as me makes my heart sing.

*BONUS*

|House Cleaning|

Now just like planning, I do most of the house cleaning. That means laundry, kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms, vacuum, dusting, windows… so-on-so-forth.

When I was in my last year of schooling and even now that I’m pretty much working two/three jobs (heading accounts payable, author, blogger) meaning I work from 8am-12am everyday. Due to my crazy overtime in everything the house work has taken a back-seat. That is until Mr. Canuck realizes I’m overloaded and decides to clean the bathroom for me or tidy the kitchen or do the laundry.

It isn’t much, but it shows he’s supporting me in my goals of wanting to be a full-time writer and that means a lot to me. 🙂

Writing Prompt: What you wish you had said.

If I had known it was the last time I would ever hear from you, I wouldn’t have text you how bored I was.

If I had known what you were about to do, the last thing you would have read from me wouldn’t have been how much I found my job boring and how much I just wanted to not work.

If I had known that I would never talk to you again because after your text to me you decided to disappear forever from this physical world, I would have called you.

I wish I would have called to tell you how much I love you and that I needed you. I wish I heard your voice and somehow found a way to change your mind. Maybe I would have been able to save you…

I wanted to talk to you later that night.

I was looking forward to our Friday night chat.

Instead I didn’t call because I believed we had more time…

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑