CHILDREN OF SIRPHAN IS NOW OUT!!
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Crowded is an adjective which means ‘a space or area full of people, leaving little or no room for movement; packed close’.
Examples of how this word is used will be found throughout the story below:
The reason I chose to start with this word was because today I took a trip to a place many of you may be familiar with – Costco.
To start this off – I love Costco. There are many benefits to having a membership and also love what the stores in my area offer. I am not complaining about the company. I am complaining about the crowds of people that think they are the only ones worthy to be in the store and forget that respect and personal space exist. (Any of you have this problem when at a wholesale store or just me?)
Now, I’ve been to wholesales stores in the past. When I lived in Thunder Bay we would travel over the border to buy our stuff in Duluth and visit the Sam’s Club while we were there. We would fill our house with toilet paper, paper towels, value packs of chicken stuffing, Old El Paso taco kits, and much much more.
Since moving to Southern Ontario we didn’t think we would need to indulge in wholesale deals. We were doing fine going to the local grocers or the farmers market… but low and behold we got ourselves a membership. Specially, Mr. Canuck got us a membership. 🙂
I think we got the membership because people at Mr. Canuck’s work always spoke of the deals they got from Costco on the weekend, or we would hear about it at my father’s place when we would go over for dinner. I understood the desire to get a deal… deal hunting and discount lovers are scattered throughout my family tree. So, honestly, I’m surprised it took 8 months to get a membership.
Anyways, we decided to check out the Costco near by to see what offers they had and instantly remembered why we didn’t go to wholesale stores all the time.
It was packed tight. Crowded – some would say – like discounted canned sardines (aisle 12).
The parking lot was a nightmare with people waddling down the middle of the road in front of your car or people standing in the middle of the road carrying on conversations. There were shopping carts taking up parking spaces and other people who parked their car in two spaces because one just wasn’t enough. When inside people were zipping around with carts, running people over without a care. Babies were screaming, old people were causing traffic jams in the aisles, and even two women started fighting over a discount pumpkin pie. Okay… maybe not fighting… more like a strongly worded debate over pumpkin pie. It was madness I tell you… a scene out of Mad Max but instead of cars they were shopping carts.
Silly us, we didn’t grab a cart so we were dodging people with our arms full of the items were wanted to buy. My insides were in a ball, my pulse was racing, and I was starting to get disoriented because no matter which way I turned there was no way out between the towering shelves of wholesale goods and the walls of bumper-car-shopping-carts.
After twenty minutes Mr. Canuck and I escaped with a large Caesar salad, two bags of bagels, a bag of crispy onions, and thankfully our lives.
I liked the discounts. I loved the deals and the amount you get… but I hated the crowds of people that made it difficult to be the nice, friendly Canadians our nation is known for. Next time I will have to know what I’m going into that store for and go alone so I don’t keep worrying about misplacing my partner somewhere in the store.
WARNING: Before reading this I would like to let you know that this has not gone through the editing process. This may change when going through the final review of the book before publishing. May edit this later when I’ve gotten some sleep. With that said, I really like this part of the book and I hope you will enjoy it. 🙂
Walking down the uneven wooden steps leading down to the rocky shore, Liora made her way to the rushing white water. The current was strong. No doubt it was powerful enough to wash away a tree yet alone a person with no issues.
It was hard to keep her balance on the uneven ground but after getting her footing flat atop two rocks she crossed her arms, taking a breath to admire the view. The dam was no longer in one piece. The center of the large wall had collapsed. A pile of uneven pieces were along upper level of the shoreline. There were no fishermen on the plateaus. The only people that seemed to be part of the village were those behind her carrying on their days.
Liora spun around to see the white haired girl two paces away. Her lavender eyes were wide, her jaw a jar.
“Me?” Liora was unsure why the girl sounded so shocked.
“You can’t be here… you can’t be real… you – you’re a dream,” the girl stuttered.
“I assure you I’m as real as you are… although I should be the one surprised since I saw you in my dream,” Liora stated, noticing the girl’s light brow wince. “Then again… I’m starting to get used to strange things in my dreams… since I’m a seer.”
“Seer?” the girl’s face scrunched at the word.
“A northern word for – you know what never mind… I’m here to help you,” Liora waved her hand before taking a step towards the girl who took a step back.
“Help me? I don’t even know who you are,” she snipped, looking around again, “you shouldn’t even be here… yo…you need to leave. Now.”
“Hey, I just got here. I’m here ’cause you asked me for help,” Liora stated. The girl shook her head.
“Again, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t ask for help. I don’t know who you are. You have to leave now before they find out you’re here!” the girl hurried towards Liora, turning her around before pushing on her back towards the other set of stairs leading to the bridge which led back to the forest.
“No, wait!” Liora resisted.
“Yes, time,” Liora spun to the side, watching the girl stumble forward catching herself as she gave Liora a glare. “What’s your name? Who are they? Why is there no time?”
“Do you always ask questions at inconvenient moments or are you being difficult because you just don’t like taking orders?” the white haired girl snipped, crossing her arms.
“That’s not answering my questions,” Liora glared.
They stood there for a moment in silence. The strange girl was taller than Liora had first expected her to be. Almost half a head taller than she was.
“Emery,” she sighed, looking to the side, “my name’s Emery.”
“See, now was that really that hard?” Liora asked, giving a smirk. “I’m Liora – but people call me Li.”
“Well, Liora, as much as I’d love to discuss in full and complete detail as to why you’ve decided to come here, you need to le–“
There came a rumbling of thunder as Liora turned in the direction of the dam. The dam was gone the water was low, there was no risk of the flood she had dreamed of. The sky was clear and there didn’t look to be a storm rolling over the mountains.
“Damn it…” Emery leapt, grabbing Liora’s hand. “They know you’re here– if they find you.”
“They’ll kill me?” Liora asked, watching the girl peer back.
“If you’re lucky!” Emery pulled Liora up the steps back towards the bridge leading into the city from the forest.
Halfway up, Emery halted, moving down one step at spotting who stood above them. There were two figures dressed in robes. They had been the people from her dream.
There was a woman on the left whose blonde hair escape the hood of her robe. Her eyes were shadowed but there was a smile on her lips that made Liora’s skin crawl. Beside the woman was a man, who chose not to hide his face from them. His brown eyes and messy hair reminded her of Pellar – though this man was better dress sharing a similar unnerving smile.
“Em, always trying to be the hero,” the woman said, while wagging her finger. Her black eyes were dark night as they peered down from the steps above.
“Pointless, pointless,” the man gave a full toothed grin.
Emery let go of Liora’s hand before glancing back. There was something in her lavender eyes that made Liora’s stomach flip.
“Run!” Emery shouted, charging the two adults before them as Liora tore passed.
The figures toppled to the ground as Emery lay on top of them, keeping them pinned. Liora took the steps two by two and when at the top she looked back down.
Emery was gone. The two figures were starting to stand as Liora bolted for the bridge. Liora wanted to turn back and question them but she couldn’t stop herself from running. Emery had wanted her to run and that’s what she was going to do.
Just as she reached the other side of the bridge her body shook as she toppled backwards onto her back. What had she hit?
There was no wall. There was nothing before her.
Standing, Liora put out her hand as she watched the air ripple like water before her. There was something there but she didn’t know what it was. It was like the air had turned solid… but that wasn’t possible. Such a phenomenon couldn’t exist. Unless…
“We won’t let you leave girl,” the man hissed.
Liora clenched her fists before turning to face the two standing, now in the middle of the bridge. She couldn’t run passed them. There was no other way around them either.
“Where’s Emery‽” Liora growled, taking a step towards them. “Where is she‽”
“Safe, I assure you,” the woman muttered, lifting a hand.
“And me… what are you going to do to me?” Liora’s voice wavered, as she forced down the tears welling up in the corner of her eyes. Her nails dug into her palms distracting her from the fear and worry that bombarded her mind.
“Such a tone – you’re going to be our guest. It’s been a while since we’ve had one. We’ve wanted some entertainment for a while now,” the woman licked her teeth like a snake tasting the air.
Entertainment? Liora’s stomach churned at the sweetness in the woman’s voice. The way she had said it made Liora’s skin crawl and hair stand on end.
“I’ll leave. You don’t have to do anything,” Liora bartered.
The two strangers laughed.
“Nonsense, you’re one of us now,” they looked at each other, smiling ear to ear, “you will never leave.”
Liora turned back to the translucent wall, hitting her hands against it in hopes it would break open. Upon her second hit she heard a snapping of fingers from behind as the world faded to black.
Yeah… reviewing my work I’ve come across some really dark parts that even surprised me that I wrote them. It is interesting since I’m normally a happy go lucky person that wears a cat hat and drinks tea… yet I can write a gory murder scene or describe a raid on a village like I’m a freaking demon.
It is entertaining to re-read some of those parts and try to figure out what mood I was in, or what was going on in my life at the time since how I feel approaching a writing project very much effects how my story will be written.
Oh… here’s a funny and true story. In the early creation of my first book I wanted my mother to review what I was writing. Little did I know that what I had written would have her come up to me with knitted brows and a grimacing twitch in her eye before asking me what happened in my life to make me write such dark, depressing, gory scenes.
I never showed her another piece of my writing again, afraid she would think me a psychopath or something. XD
Now, reviewing my work I can see why she thought that… also made me cut out a lot of the gory details for the sake of certain readers that may not be able to handle that level of detail in a book that is supposed to be for an older YA audience.
Anywho, I thought I would share this post that popped up on my pinterest wall this morning in case any of you have felt this way. Share a story if you’d like in the comments below. I love hearing from all of you.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… I HATE EDITING!
It is the longest of the processes regarding your story but in the end it will all be worth it.
My editor has gone through and made several changes and made suggestions, which at the moment I am fixing. Once I have run through this batch of editing fixes I’ll being giving it back to him for another read through.
Hopefully that means I will have this done before December 20th, so all you lovelies can purchase this story for Christmas if you’d like.
The plan is to e-book it on Kindle, which will allow me to then focus on finding someone to turn it into a paperback version since I know some of you – like myself – like holding paper in their hands and smell the ink from the pages.
That’s all I have for book 1 updates.
Regarding Book 2, I am half-way through the first draft. I’m taking a break from that to allow me time to focus up finishing book 1.
That is all I got to share for now. 🙂
So, if you have been following me for a while you will already know the story of Gaitan’s creation. If you don’t know it or haven’t read it, here’s the link.
Now that you’ve read through that, this will make a lot more sense to you. If you still haven’t read it, this will not…
Anywho, I decided for the fun of it to create a timeline of events for this little side story of my story. This timeline is important, only for the reason it fits into a bigger timeline I’m working on that I’ll post at a later date. 🙂
There is a lot of work and history building that goes into my world creation, so I find timelines a life saver.
So, without further delay, here is the Beginning Timeline for Gaitan.